How do you forgive and forget when a spouse has cheated?

I cheated on my fiance with my baby's father. I tried to be completley honest with him cause I felt bad about it afterward. I told him what had happened. He is hurt almost beyond repair. But he wants to try to work things out with me. What is the best way for him to forgive and forget and what can I do to help him?How do you forgive and forget when a spouse has cheated?
The way you frame the question the entire problem is his and for most men that will make you untrustable. YOU not he cheated. You not he created the breach of trust. YOU not he needs to make the effort to work things out. Few people can forget being hurt and he must love you quite a bit to be willing to forgive. Trust needs to be earned, not blindly given. He blindly gave it once and thats the only freebie you get. From now on out you have to be willing to live with the fact that he is JUSTIFIED in not trusting you--for the rest of your life with him--and be willing to do the things necessary to ensure that he knows you to be trustworthy. YOU, not he, needs to acknowledge your responsibility and accept whatever needs to be done for him to feel comfortable with you. That will be hard for you, but it was your error, not his, that has led to his hurt. The fact that he wants to try to work things out tells me that he has already forgiven, only a lifetime of doing the things to earn his trust will permit him to forget.How do you forgive and forget when a spouse has cheated?
It is really hard, my husband has never cheated but has done other things to break the trust and it never goes away. You always wonder but the only thing I would say is just always be honest with him, and if he questions you about where you are going or what not let him know. The more open you are with him the sooner you will earn his trust back.
Well he can forgive but he will never forget been there! I have forgave but I will never forget
Uhm, it's really hard to forgive and forget when trust has been broken in a big way like that. You should've thought about that before hand. If I were him I would dump you right then and there, you're so lucky he's taking you back.
You burned the bridge of trust and now you have to set to rebuilt it and hope that in the future he can trust to cross the new bridge you will try to build and hope he doesn't at one point say I don't care if i burn the bridge i build for her to trust me since she didn't care. It is sad how lots of people could careless and do the wrong thing even when they know it will hurt someone they love or just hurt someone.


The worse you can do is try and who knows it might work.
Just give it time, you have a lot of trust you need to build.
First you cheated on the man and then you told him about it, to cover your guilt. If he's smart, your ';fiance'; will do himself a favor and drop your scheming behind before it's too late. Go back to your baby's daddy; no doubt, you and him deserve one another.
It is on him to forgive and forget. You have broken the trust and it will take a long time for him to regain it in you. You have to be trust worthy now. You have to be where you say you are and check in, do everything you can to be trusted again. He may forgive you, but he will have a hard time forgetting about it, especially if there is a child as a result of your cheating.
I would hold off getting married... He will never forget .You will hear about this for years to come. It will come up when your late, when there is no toilet paper.... anything that gets him mad he will have one up on you. It's up to you to take it or leave it . You need to be as open as possible. Be where you're suppose to be when you say you will be there.He needs to see that you hide nothing.You need to be patient with him because it hurts....Good Luck
Forgive? maybe. Forget? Never. You screwed yourself but good. And for what? You destroyed the trust and love that one man was more than willing to share with you so you could get laid by the father of the kid you bore from this guy? Who obviously isn't husband material or he would have married you. But no....you deserve to lose the fiance. If you haven't already.


Just plan on going back to the old boyfriend who got you pregnant. At least he still knows you're willing to put out.
If you two really want this to work.....see a professional therapist.





He/she will know how to get you guys on the right track and find out what went wrong in the first place.
relationships are built on trust, that is gone now. So back to square one, time will fix it if he can forgive you and willing to trust you again. To speed this up find even ground to start on, let him cheat one you or offer what most men dream of and bring a friend home. That makes it even and maybe a hole new relationship will come about, you were obviously not completely happy with it the way it was.
I think you may forgive, but you never forget. The trust is gone and you have to work hard to get it back. Any little thing might make him think you are doing it again.





Have you thought about why you did it, could it be that you still love your baby's father?
You have a wonderful person to do he麓s best to forgive your weakness,however its imposable for he to forget! and for you it will be hard to live with knowing how much you hurt and deceived him. But you were honest,so Lets hope you will learn from this experience for the future,!!!!!
always be very open, honest about where you are, if you guys aren't together. If he has ';moments'; that this memory flares up, just try to let him vent, and get it out, even if you've heard it over and over. Pray. Try counseling...maybe it would help him to talk with a 3rd party. Most of all, if you forsee this being a repeat happening with you, break ties now. Best of luck to you and your family
There's nothing to do to speed up the process. He needs time. You shouldn't get married now. All you need to do is show him he can trust you. Put all your focus on him. Make your world revolve around him. Let him know he is a priority every second! He may forgive you but he will never forget!
You made several key mistakes -





1st off you cheated, 2nd you told him about it! If it was truely only a one time thing, you shouldn't have told him. Maybe you subconsciously want him to divorce with you.
you can never forget... remembering is what helps us grow and learn from our experiences.





as forgiving, i have been in those shoes... not very easy! in my case the only way i could get through the hurt and pain not to mention the resentment and anger was with lots of praying and counseling from our pastor.





i have a loving relationship with God and my trust is in him... i know that he will always be there for me and wants me to be happy. i just ask, him to help take away all those bad feelings away and replace them with love and forgiveness for my husband.





we have been back together for a year, and although the occasional thought of what happened still pops in... i love him and trust him.
You cheated on your fiance with your baby's father. Do you know how bad that is? Why would your fiance take you back? How can he ever trust you not to do that again with the baby's father, with the mailman, with the gas station attendant, with the butcher? For pete's sake, what made you do that in the first place? That's what you need to look at. You both need counseling; you for cheating and your fiance for taking you back. Please do not get married any time soon. And as for forgiving, he can do that, but he will never ever forget and chances are he won't let you either.
the only way to even the score is for him to cheat on you then you will understand how he feels and no one can keep throwing it in the other persons face.then just let the past go.
Sorry but I don't think you can forgive and forget, especially when it comes to cheating. I tried to forgive someone and I was misreable. I always worried about it happening again. The trust was gone and I couldn't believe a word he said. Even if he wasn't cheating again, I always thought he was. It's just too damaging to relationships since trust is a basic need in a relationship.
You should not get married; you are too immature. You aren't even married yet, and still you can't control yourself. Let your fiance go find someone who will treat him right. You should be ashamed of yourself
Unfortunately this baby's father will always be a part of your life, so he'll never forget. It will haunt him forever. It may be best just to call things off.
THERE WAS SOMETHING MISSING IN THE RELATIONSHIP TO BEGIN WITH OR YOU WOULD,NT OF DONE ANYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED TO MOVE ON


HE WILL NEVER FORGET BUT THINGS CAN GET BETTER BEEN THERE


IT ISNT EASY LET HIM KNOW EVERY TIME HE GETS MAD AT YOU THIS SUBJECT CANT KEEP COMING UP


IF YOU LOVE EACH OTHER ENOUGH WITH TIME YOU CAN OVER COME ANYTHING G-O-O-D L-U-C-K
Go above and beyond with being honest. If you're going to be 5 minutes late call him. Don't put yourself in a situation that will seem odd to him, like going to a party without him. It will take him along time to move past this. But whenever he gets worried just remind him that you made a mistake in the past. It's over and you will not do it again. Tell him you realize how horrible it was and you would never want to lose him. He shouldn't punish you for it (like bringing it up over and over to hurt you, or trying to do the same thing to you) but he will needs reassurance sometimes that it's in the past. Be sure to never give him a reason to doubt you. Make sure you show him how much you desire him and intimacy with him. Try to get to the point where you stop talking about it and have fun again. Focus on your future and your love. In time he should be able to let go and trust you again.