Cheating or Not: Contacting opposite sex electronically (email, text, chat) keeping it secret from your spouse?

I say it is an affair of the heart, an emotional affair, and takes away from the marital relationship.





To me, it is NOT innocent fun, it is not a ';game'; or harmless entertainment, it is infidelity.





To me, the secrecy angle of this activity, as much as any suggestive talk or exchange of photos, constitutes a betrayal of marriage vows.





Your thoughts???Cheating or Not: Contacting opposite sex electronically (email, text, chat) keeping it secret from your spouse?
Cheating for sure! If a partner keeps it secret then they know what they're doing is wrong.Cheating or Not: Contacting opposite sex electronically (email, text, chat) keeping it secret from your spouse?
If it is something that you feel you can not tell your partner, then it is something you should not be doing
You are absolutely correct. It is cheating and it's not ok.


Emotional cheating creates almost the same if not more of a stress on a marriage.
If you don't consider it cheating then its not.


Just don't let your ';fun'; get out of hand, and hurt your marriage


.
Cheating absolutely! People just don't go out and find some one and have sex with them without first making steps to that bad decision. It all starts with communication and then in turn leads to something more. So yes everything you stated are the beginning steps of cheating.
To me, it would depend on WHAT they were talking about. On the other hand, what would be your reason for not telling me, especially when you tell me everything else.





I don't think it's a form of ';cheating';, but I do think it's cause for concern.
I agree, it's seems all in fun but its not. Its an affair of the heart and betraying the spouse. IT'S CHEATING!
I agree!





If its innocent then you wouldn't be keeping it a secret....
Well, it depends...if the email, text, etc are ';sexually'; charged or flirtatious, than yes I would agree that its cheating. However, if its innocent and your spouse never tells you...I would not say that its cheating because maybe the spouse isn't telling you because they don't think its an issue since they are not being ';secretive';





For example, I just sent a text message to a male buddy of mine just to ask him how his sick wife was doing.


I did not tell my husband about it because it was innocent.


I'm definitely not cheating.






If it's a secret then yes, it is a betrayal. You (not you personally) would be breaking down communication with your spouse and that is laying the groundwork for an affair reguardless if it's cyber or face to face.
Its a bad seceret to keep from a loved one. If you are in that much need of entertainment leave your spouse dont be decetfull
all it's going to lead to is to cheating
I know a lot of people who do this, and it puzzles me too. If I had to analyze the practice, I'd say it's not cheating simply because obviously the online ';relationships'; could go further but don't. The line is drawn at actual cheating, and that, to me, indicates that the person has respect for his/her relationship/vows.





I hope that helps.
i don't really know. if you all are texting or communicating about the past, and trying to hook up and if you find yourself blushing when you hear from the person then YES you need to stop all communication
As mentioned earlier, it depends on the context of the messages. It's like a phone call - if my wife calls a male co-worker about something on the job, fine. She's had to do that, and I've heard her joking and making small talk. But if it morphs into giggles and whispers, then I'd be concerned. I wouldn't call it cheating, but a dangerous first step.
I agree it is cheating! It may start out as chatting, but could very easily lead to something more. It has always puzzled me why someone in a relationship would have any desire to chat with someone else? Being committed to one person does not mean it is okay to have an online affair. You are so right!
it is cheating..well at least to me it is..if you have to keep it a secret than you KNOW it is wrong..its an emotional affair then will or could lead to a physical affair..
Even if one is not physically cheating or intending to cheat, keeping this type of external relationship secret from one's spouse is a form of betrayal. Now, every situation and relationship is different... In some cases the betrayed spouse may not care. However, if you are in this situation and are concerned, it is best to be open and honest with your spouse about it. Hopefully he/she would ease your mind and tell you what is going on. If not, there are bigger problems!
I agree with you 100%. Here's why: when a person is married and exchanges emails, chat, and text with a person of the same sex and keeps it a secret from his or her spouse, then they are putting themselves in temptations way. It is a form of flirting and it can lead to places one shouldn't open the door to going. You said it perfectly when you said it is an ';affair of the heart';.
It's a betrayal!


Any 'secret' that you do not dare reveal is BAD for a relationship!


What are you going to do about it?


Try relationship tips!
I feel you hit it on the nose!
I agree with you, and what starts out as innocent may not end up that way also. Why bring deciet into a marriage? I would feel guilty if I did any of those things and hope my husband does not secretly do them either.
i agree...even if you don't physically cheat you are still cheating emotionally
It depends on the nature of the communication. If you communicate for fun, nada. If you get serious like hey baby you sound hot and let's hook up, that might be on a problem. Sort of like if my wife talks to the men at her tennis club, i don't think that's cheating. If she asks him to lunch, not cheating, but if after lunch she says let's take a walk by the river... well hmmm.
The secretiveness isn't good. Aside from that, it entirely depends on what they're talking about. Yo, sometimes people are FRIENDS. Every friendship worth anything has closeness and trust, but that doesn't mean it is anything other than friendship.
It is emotional cheating, some people need to to maintain the relationship with their spouse, but it is a form of cheatinf.
i agree also.


all you have to do is ask yourself this question;


would i consider it cheating if it was done to me?


hhmmm......