Do you ever or does your spouse project their anger onto you ? How do you overcome it ?

I kinda had it out with the wife last night- She's been a stay @ home mom for the past 10 months (baby is 8 m/o) and we have a 6 y/o to boot. Well, I can tell she is getting frustrated staying at home - and she admits as much.





What I don't get and have a very hard time handling is that she tends to project her frustration onto me and the older child when she is feeling overwhelmed from the baby. Its like you can FEEL the tension in the house and we (he and I) get their chit jumped on for EVERY little thing !





I tried my best to point this out and it blew up in my face - but I'm sick of me (and especially the boy) being the scapegoat for her ansgt!





Example: Last night after dinner - Our older boy cleaned up the table and rinsed the dishes and HE loaded the dishwasher on his own and started it. Good job of helping out- well she was upset b/c it was not ALL the way full, and ';he needs to learn not to waste water'; I was like WTF?





How do I get her to realize what she's doing?Do you ever or does your spouse project their anger onto you ? How do you overcome it ?
The BABY is NO excuse...I am sorry but shes acting like a little kid...tell her to get over it and start acting responsible...I mean ppl go to work everyday, that doesn't mean they come home and take it out on their spouse or children...





She needs to get a grip...only two kids and shes already freaking out....LOL





P.S..to the first person...she does NOT need a day for herself...this is what its called being a WIFE and a MOTHER...so GET OVER IT%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;





Beside YOU go to WORK......everyday..right? You probably need a day off too...everyone can use one of those...NOT going to solve anything though...Do you ever or does your spouse project their anger onto you ? How do you overcome it ?
Wow, sorry but this reply SUCKS. You have no idea how hard it is for a woman!! Granted she should be made to see when she has been insensitive but chances are she is completely overwhelmed and EXHAUSTED. Help her out, give her a break...f%26amp;ck these idiots who don't get it.

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it's tough. you gotta give her some days of the week out or get a nanny on the regular basis so you can get the quality of life. don't be cheap on the money because you and your sons' mental health is worth a lot more than that. dr. phil says that ';if the mom's ain't happy, the family ain't happy.'; so your no. 1 goal here is to get her a nanny probably 2 days a week so she gets to hang out with her friends occassionally or just to get out. you don't wanna wait, otherwise it will become a pattern and a habitual thing and a vicious cycle! good luck!
You know ... you opened my eyes a little and I find myself taking my frustrations out on my hubby when I'm upset with my daughter or even myself sometimes ... there's no one else she can vent to - you two are her punching bags - she's probably cooped up in the house all day - doing laundry and talking baby talk - it gets old ... maybe suggest some yoga or something .. lol ... or even some adult time - at least once a week plan a date night .. just the two of you ... I think a part time job would work too - but nothing overwhelming ... have her read your question and answers and maybe she can see what she's doing - I can see how nothing is ever good enough when you're always use to doing it your way ... she needs to let go of that habit and accept the help you two offer ... or stop complaining about it. Keep trying to communicate and see what the problem is ... does she feel unappreciated - over worked ... not sexy ... you forget sometimes you're more than just a mom ... good luck ... hope this helps ( and try not to burn me too bad - just trying to help .. lol )
Wow, sounds like your wife needs a day just for her......... I would suggest that you take the kids and go somewhere for a day, or send her somewhere for a day.......... she really needs to get out........


Try not to lose too much patience........ it's difficult being a mom........ and sometimes we get funny ideas that we are failures if certain things don't go just right........
Wow, way to raise future nervous can't please their mother kids!





I seriously think this needs counseling. Perhaps this is how she was raised and is now duplicating VERY unhealthy parenting!





Eight months is old enough for daycare.
it looks like she's the one wearing the pants even though you're the provider. you should try going to family counseling. i dont think she'll change her ways just with you telling her, you even say it blows up in your face. having a baby is absolutely no exuse to be that way.. my sister is in the same situation she has a 6 year old and she has baby twins. she handles it well. yeah she tells me sometimes she wants to run away but she doesnt take her anger out on anyone. my brother in law is the one with the problem in that relationship. but anyway, you might try to consider seperation or something if she doesn't change her ways. you dont want to live a miserable life. its hard yes but dont take the easy way out and stay. think about your own life and those kids' life. it sounds like they'll have a horrible childhood!!! or like i said mention counseling!